What if Peter goes to Sam's Club
by kurizeru
Summary: This short story is simply about Peter and his family in their typical, screwed daily living. It was going to be a series, but my genius plot writer sister has now been engulfed into the world of anime. WHY! WHY! jk I enjoy anime greatly Oh well, hope y


.......Peter goes to Sam's Club/ Megan gets a date

DISCLAIMER: We **don't OWN**, I repeat **don't OWN** Family Guy, so please don't sue!

REMINDER: If you've never seen Family Guy before, it might be hard to pictures out these short stories in your mind. However, still feel free on reading them.

THANK YOU

as the family go for their weekly grocery shopping in Sam's Club, something catches Peter's eye...

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

"Hmmm........," Peter wonders as he looks at the dollar bill encased and placed just above the cash register.

"Sir, what are you doing?" says the check out boy working the register.

"Ummmmm........urrrrrrrrr......Well..........this thing says Take My Dollar." Peter says as his big, grubby index finger points to the crispy dollar bill covering the small print 'if you're not satisfied with my service'.

"mmmmmmm. I guess it does. And what were you trying to do?"

" I was tryin' to take it."

"Why?"

"Ummmmmmm......cause it says so........"

"Sir! I know it says that, but you don't really take it."

"But........it says Take It."

"I know but you still can't take it!" the annoyed employee said.

"Ummmm.........okay, but why?"

"Cause I said so! You crazy Bstrd!"

"Hey! No one calls me that! Except for that guy........and that guy........and that old woman over there."

"Hey you, Bstrd!" called out the old lady from the next counter.

Suddenly, the employee launches as Peter. He jabs with his left hook! Again, he takes a punch at Peter's stomach, but his fist sank in, as if he hit jello. Peter throws a hit, but misses and accidentally hits the old lady. In slow motion, her dentures fly into the air and accidentally poke the store's manager in the eye.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh.................my eye...........my eye...............get this piece of sht off me." Running around like a maniac, he accidently hits one of the carts, which rolled down the aisle and hit their 10 feet pyramid of FOP sodas. The sodas tumble down and hits the butcher who was cutting up fresh meat. The meat clever jumps out of his hand and aerodynamically hits the old lady, who was looking for her dentures.

Minutes later, outside of Sam's Club

"Peter! Why would you attack an employee at Sam's Club? Thanks to you we're banned from there," Lois full of frustration asks her husband.

"Oh, geez Lois. It's not my fault. That guy charged at me cause he wouldn't let me take his dollar."

Sighs "Let's just go home."

At HOME

Mom! Dad! You'll never believe this! But, someone asked me out on a DATE!

"You're right Megan, it....is.........hard...........to...............believe." Brian replies to the excited girl.

"Preposterous! The Fat girl got a date! I hate to be the stupid fool who'd asked her out!" evil-minded Stuwie comments.

"That's so nice Sweetie. Peter, did you hear? Our daughter Meg got a date."

"Oh, that's nice sweetie, just make sure you don't come back hom...Wait.........Megan got a date!? But...........she..........never gets a date. That must mean one thing ...........someone replaced our real daughter with a........POD PERSON!"

Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn; suspense background music plays

"Chris, Brian, hold her down. I'll get the chainsaw!"

"Ahhhhhhh! Mommmmmmmmm!"

Chainsaw starts

"Yes Meg, what is it swee- OH MY GOD, PETER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Get back lois! that's not Meg! that's a pod person! our real daughter doesn't get dates."

"Peter, stop playing around! Brian, Chris.........let go of your sister."

Brian and Chris lets go; Meg runs to her room

"Why'd you let the pod person go Lois?"

SLAP "Peter! Stop playin around."

Peter starts thinking, "the real lois wouldn't hit me..........then that means............she's a (dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn) a pod person!"

"I want you, all of you, to go up to Megan and say you're sorry."

"Okay Honey. Oh, and Lois.............

"What!?!

SMACK

The End


End file.
